The Part That Is Hidden
by Copycat472
Summary: Leonardo has always been the Fearless leader. He's never been afraid of anything or anyone. That is how he looks to his family. But this is not who Leo truly is. For years, Leo has kept every nightmare, every argument, and every injury bottled up inside. But one night, an argument with Raph goes too far and it's more than Leo can take. Is anyone going to help Leo or will he suffer?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everybody! This is my second fanfic on fanfiction and I'm so excited to see how it goes! My first fanfic, "Taken," was a success and a lot of you loved it, so I can't wait to see what you all think of this one! The story's length is probably going to be much shorter than "Taken," because my summer has ended, and I have school now :( But no worries! I won't disappoint any of you, trust me! This fanfic is going to be pretty much about Leo, again. Hey, Leo is my favorite turtle and I love him, so don't judge! ;) Remember to read and review, because I want to see what you all think! Read on, my fellow readers!**

* * *

><p>Everybody has a part of themselves that they hide.<p>

Good. Bad. It doesn't matter. Everybody hides something.

Leo hides everything.

Over the fifteen years that Leo has grown up, he has learned to keep his emotions to himself. He was the eldest turtle of the four, and he felt as though he had to show strength. If he let his emotions get the better of him, he would be showing weakness. And according to Leo, weakness wasn't something he would take lightly.

Leo always felt as though he owed something to his Sensei for making him the leader of the team. He made it his mission to never show weakness in front of his father or his brothers, no matter what.

If Leo was scared of something, he'd just push the feeling down and lock it up somewhere inside of him. This is what he did for everything that bothered him. He would suck it up and keep his feelings to himself.

Leo thinks that he has to be the one to take care of his younger brothers. He constantly tries to be there for each and every one of them. He's their older brother...he has to be there for them. It wasn't a choice, but even if it was, Leo would probably choose to still care for them, anyways.

He always felt the need to protect them from harm, especially Mikey, the youngest of the four. Mikey was a bit sensitive, and Leo did his best to be there for him when he needed help.

Leo knew that Donnie could take care of himself, even though Leo still felt that he had to protect him, anyways.

And then, there was Raph.

Leo, honestly didn't know what to feel about him.

Of course, Leo loved him. Raph was his immediate younger brother, after all...but there was something in their relationship that was off. It was different from Leo's relationship with his two youngest brothers, Donnie and Mikey. Although Leo never knew why his and Raph's relationship was unstable, he still wondered for what it might be caused by.

All throughout their lives, Leo got the sense that Raph hated him.

He thought that Raph wanted nothing to do with him, the way he always glares at him when he walks by. The way Raph grunts whenever Leo is near. The way he avoids eye-contact whenever Leo is talking. The way he always argues with Leo...

Those were the worst part about their relationship: the arguments.

Almost all of their arguments were verbal. Raph would yell something, and then Leo would yell something back. It would keep going, as an endless cycle, until one of their other brothers or their father broke them up.

Raph never knew this, but all of those countless arguments they have done, affected Leo, greatly.

Raph would just brush it off, like it was another day, but Leo took his words to heart. Raph's words hurt Leo in ways that he wouldn't understand. Leo would turn Raph's words into weapons that he used against himself, not meaning to, of course. But Leo never knew how to control his emotions like that. They would haunt him, until he finally pushed them down and locked them up.

Leo wished that most of their arguments were physical, instead. That way, Leo wouldn't be hurting so much, afterwards...

But this is what Leo does.

He acts like the bigger, stronger person. He acts like he doesn't care. He acts like he just shakes it off. He acts like he's okay...when the truth is, he's not.

But Leo sworn to never show weakness, not to his brothers, or his father. So, he locks up every emotion he feels and doesn't share any with his family.

Everybody has a part of themselves that they hide...even from the ones they love the most.

* * *

><p><strong>I know, I know, this chapter is very short! I'm sorry, but I wanted to write about what Leo mainly felt about everything, before I got into the actual story. I wanted to show what was going through Leo's head so you all could get a better understanding. Well, I hope you all liked it, and I'll update soon, I promise! Review, please! I want to know how I did with the first chapter! Thanks, again!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everybody! I know the last chapter was short, but I promise you all that this one is much longer! Don't worry, okay? Trust me when I say this: I think you all will like it! Remember to review at the end to tell me how I did. I want to see what you all thought. Thanks for reading! Read on, my fellow readers!**

* * *

><p>Sunlight was filling the air above in New York City, its light reflecting off of buildings, shimmering in the morning air.<p>

People were waking up to the endless sounds of horns, sirens, and motors of cars rumbling outside of their houses. Getting up for work is one thing, but being woken up by loud noises outside is a pain. But hey, it's what people are used to when living in a city, like NYC.

For the turtles, it was quite like the same thing.

But instead, they had the subway rumbling over their heads, waking them up from their sleep in the sewers.

The subway was, in a way, Leo's alarm clock for every morning.

He turned over in his bed to check the clock on his table.

"5:00..." he mumbled.

But Leo knew that being woken up this early was good for one thing: training.

Leo loved to train. Every morning, he would gladly be woken up by the subway and start training in the dojo, first thing. His brothers did the same, of course. They all knew better than to wake up later than 5:00, for Master Splinter would surely punish them.

Their father thought that they should wake up early to train, so that their mind and body could be prepared for the oncoming day.

Leo got out of his bed and made his way down to the main room. Nobody was down there yet, except Mikey, who passed out on the couch.

Leo smirked and shook his head, as he made his way over to his youngest brother.

"Hey, Mikey," Leo said, as he stopped down next to him. "Bro, wake up. It's 5:00. We got to train," he finished as he patted his shell.

"L-Leo?" Mikey asked, clearly still tired. "It's already 5:00? Ah, man. I stayed up later than I thought."

"Ya, Mikey," Leo responded. "I heard you at 2:00 in the morning. What were you doing?" he asked as he helped his little brother onto his feet.

"I was trying to beat your high score on the pinball machine," Mikey confessed, a smile forming on his face. "And guess what, big bro! I did! In your face Leo! Booyakasha!" Mikey announced, as he jumped up into the air.

Leo smirked again, and couldn't help but laugh.

Who, but Mikey, would stay up into the early hours of the morning trying to beat someone's high score on a game?

"Alright, Mikey," Leo said, as he calmed him down. "Sensei is probably waiting."

"Right," Mikey agreed, as they headed towards the dojo.

Donnie came out of his lab, soon after. He was in there all night working on a project. He managed to fall asleep, though, even if it only was for a few hours.

"Good morning, everybody," Donnie said, tiredly, as he made his way into the dojo.

"Woah," Mikey said. "Someone didn't get much sleep last night."

"Well that makes two of us, bro," Donnie countered. "You look as tired as I do."

"He was up all night trying to beat my high score on the pinball machine," Leo said.

"Did you, Mikey!?" Donnie asked, anxious for what he would say.

"What do you think, Donnie? Of course I did! I blew Leo's name right off of the scoreboard and replaced it with my own!" Mikey yelled, in excitement.

"Wow!" Donnie exclaimed. "You finally beat Leo. The master of pinball."

"Not anymore, he isn't," Mikey teased. "I am now!" he said, as he stood a heroic pose.

"Enough, Mikey," Leo said, with a small smile on his face.

"Hey, where's Raph?" Donnie asked suddenly, for he noticed his older brother wasn't present.

"Late I suppose," Master Splinter said, as he stepped out of his room and into the dojo.

All three turtles bowed, and said in unison, "Good morning, Sensei."

"Good morning my sons," Splinter said in return. "Today you will practice in a free-for-all. You will need to test yourselves based on your individual skills."

"But what about-" but Mikey was cut off by his father.

"Raphael?" the rat said. "I will announce his punishment when he decides to wake up."

"Sensei, it's only 5:05. Raph's just-" but Donnie was cut off, too.

"There are no excuses, my son," Splinter said.

"That's right Donnie," Leo agreed. "No excuses. Raph should know better than to sleep late. He should be up by now."

Leo probably would have let Raph off with a warning. He thought that a punishment was too much for being five minutes late, and would have disagreed with his Sensei, if he could. But he had no choice. He had to honor, respect, and agree with his father no matter what. He didn't want to show any disloyalty or weakness towards him.

"Thanks for gettin' my back, Fearless Leader," Raph growled suddenly, as he entered the dojo. "What ever happened to turtles first, eh?"

Leo felt a surge of guilt rush through him.

He wished Raph didn't hear what he said. If only he knew that Leo was doing it to please his father, then maybe he would understand. But you know Raph. He might not.

"Raph, I-" but Leo was cut off by him instead.

"Save it, Leo," Raph said fiercely, as he pushed past him, making Leo stumble.

"Hey!" Leo yelled.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Raph said, as he quickly turned around and took out his sais.

"Enough!" Splinter shouted. "Raphael, stand down!" he ordered.

Raph couldn't help but obey his father's command. As much as he wanted to kick some sense into his annoying older brother, he put back his sais.

"Now," their Sensei continued. "Raphael, you must be punished for your actions. How about a round against me?"

Of course Raph got beat. And he got beat hard.

Before Raph even got a chance to pull out his sais, Splinter was already on top of him. He grabbed his son's arm and twisted it back, causing him to fall. Raph managed to kick him away, but the rat came back just as quickly. He punched Raph in the gut and sent him down, once more.

Raph lay on the ground, motionless for a minute. His brothers thought that Splinter might have went too far, but Raph got up, soon after, and stormed out of the dojo.

Nobody stopped him.

After morning training was over, Leo waited for Donnie and Mikey to leave the dojo, so he could talk with his father, alone.

"Sensei," Leo said, nervous for what he was going to say.

"Yes, Leonardo?" Splinter asked.

"Um, about Raph..." Leo trailed off, with a troubled expression forming on his face.

"What about your brother?" his father asked.

"Well, not to disagree with you or anything, but I think you might have went to far, with you know..." Leo fumbled with his words.

"Leonardo," Splinter started. "Raphael tried to harm you, and not to mention that he was five minutes late. My son, like I said, there are no excuses."

"But Sensei, he was only five minutes late. I mean, it wasn't like he-" but Leo was cut off.

"Leonardo, that is enough," Splinter ordered. "What is done, is done. Now go and join your brothers."

"But-" Leo was again cut of.

"Do you want a punishment as well?" the rat asked.

Leo sighed and then said, "No, father," and left the dojo.

When Leo stepped into the main room, he was surprised to be confronted by a very angry-looking Raph.

"Really, Leo!?" Raph yelled in his brother's face. "Ya know getting beat up by Splinter isn't fun. I thought you, out of all of us, would have my back on that one. But no! Ya had to be the teacher's pet! Ya can't get enough attention from our father, huh?"

"What's you're problem, Raph!?" Leo countered. "We've all been punished before!"

"What's my problem!?" Raph yelled back. "The question is, what's your problem, Leo!? Ya know, I would have stuck up for you if Splinter said that! I can't believe my own brother would betray me like that!"

"Betray you!?" Leo yelled out, his anger rising. "For your information, Raph, I went and talked with Splinter after training! I tried to tell him that the punishment was unnecessary! I felt bad for you! I defended you!"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Raph yelled, sarcastically. "I didn't know the mighty _Lamenardo _actually had feelings! Getting hit by Splinter hurt, Leo! And all you did was try and talk to him!? Pathetic!"

And then Leo said, without thinking, "What!? Is Raph getting to weak to handle punches now!?"

But Leo realized soon after, that he made a big mistake.

"Too weak!? Oh, I'll show you who's too weak!" Raph yelled, as he punched Leo, sending him down.

Leo couldn't help but let out a small cry when Raph punched him. Shell, his brother was the strongest one on the team.

"Raph, cool off!" Leo yelled, as he quickly dodged another one of his brother's punches. "I'm your leader and I'm ordering you to stand down, Raphael!" he yelled again, but to no success.

"Who made you leader!?'" Raph screamed, as he tried to punch Leo again.

Leo, who was now clearly agitated by Raph, yelled out, "You know who did!" punching Raph in the process, sending him down. "Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot that Master Splinter chose me instead of you to lead the team. Why was that? Oh, maybe it's because he knew I was better than you!"

Raph lost it right then and there. "You're so smug, you know that!? All you care about is yourself and your pride. I'm sick of it! All of it! I'm sick of you, Leo! You!"

There was a pause.

"You're not my leader," Raph said, finally, lowering his voice.

"Raph-" Leo tried to apologize, but was cut off.

"You're not my brother," Raph said, as he got up, then turned and left to go to his room.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, well, well! Things were heating up! In the next chapter, I'll go into all the emotional details. Poor Leo is devastated :( But, you'll all see what happens soon! Please review and tell me how I did! Thanks again and I'll post soon!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everybody! I know I haven't been posting chapters as soon as I promised, but don't hate me! I've got school to worry about :( But, enough with that. Let's get to the chapter! Please, please, please review! I want to know what you all think! Read on!**

* * *

><p><em>"You're not my brother. You're not my brother. You're not my brother."<em>

This was what was rolling around and around in the blue-banded turtle's head.

It was like Leo was stabbed, violently, in the chest with a blade.

The second that Raph turned and left, Leo's heart felt like it stopped beating. His body felt like it stopped working. His mind felt like it stopped thinking.

"Not, not your brother..." Leo mumbled.

How?

For fifteen years Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo have all been brothers. They have done _everything _together. Nothing could change that.

Leo cared for each and every one of them...even Raph, back then. He would love them and protect them from any harm. Even though Raph managed to get under his shell at times, Leo still vowed to take care of him. He didn't care, as long as they all were safe.

Over the years that Leo and Raph grew up, they built this small amount of trust, or love, as some may call it. They never knew what it was, but both turtles had a mutual understanding with one another.

But in those few words, Raph destroyed that trust and love. All of that hard work to build an understanding between the two, and for what? Just a couple of seconds ago, it was broken, shattered. So many wasted years and wasted gain.

Leo realized that there wasn't going to be any cranes that would come in and pick up the broken pieces of their relationship. There would be no construction workers with blueprints, trying to map out how it's going to be built again. There would be no one who would help. No one.

Tears threatened to form in Leo's eyes.

"No..." Leo mumbled.

He couldn't cry- no. He wouldn't cry. He had to be strong. If one of his other brothers saw him, what would they think? That Leo was a wimp? That he let Raph get to him? No.

Leo had to shake it off.

It was just another argument, right? Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all...

But as much as Leo didn't want to admit it, this was really hurting him. Leo felt like bolting to his room, slamming the door, and crying. Just letting it all out. All of those fears and arguments and everything, he could just let go of.

But, no.

Leo was the leader. He was the eldest brother...or was he? Raph clearly said he wasn't.

Leo backed against a wall in the main room, and shrunk down to the floor.

The world was crashing down around Leo, and he could do nothing but sit and take it. Stay there until the feeling passed and he could move on from his petty rivalry with his brother...

But something told him that he wasn't going to let go of this one for a long while.

Leo thought that Raph had no right to say that to him, though. After all he's done for his brothers, for his father, for _him._ For Raphael.

How dare he say that he's not his brother! Leo loved all of them. Everything he did was solely for his family, and no one else. Leo barely even had the time to focus on himself, because he focused so much on his brothers.

But Raph just never saw it that way.

He thought that Leo was self-centered and only cared about himself. He was too pushy and too boring. He wasn't a good leader.

The more Leo thought about it, the more he started to believe it.

Leo was losing faith in himself as a leader and, most importantly, a brother.

Maybe...maybe Leo didn't deserve to be a brother anymore.

Leo just lost it, right then and there.

Tears rolled down his cheeks, as he closed his eyes, and buried his face in his hands. He quietly sobbed, hugging his feet to his chest, and cradling his head.

"I'm n- not a good brother," Leo choked between sobs.

"I don't d- deserve to be one. I c- can't be one. I'm not meant to be one..." he finished.

Leo then heard footsteps approaching towards him.

Leo gathered all of his remaining strength and stood up, harshly wiping away the tears.

He looked up, only to see Donnie walk by.

"Hey, L-" but Donnie faltered, for he noticed something wrong with his eldest brother.

Unfortunately for Leo, his eyes were puffy and red from crying, and Donnie noticed this almost immediately.

Sensing that Donnie saw, Leo averted his head to look in the other direction.

"Leo, bro," Donnie said, with a growing concern. "What, what's wrong?"

Leo was glad his younger brothers didn't witness the argument that they had...but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't find out about it.

Donnie tried to place his hand on his brother's shoulder, but Leo took a quick step back, still holding his head away from Donnie's gaze.

"Nothing, Donnie," Leo said, praying that his voice would not crack. "I'm fine."

"Leo, I know when something's wrong," Donnie said, really worried now. "Leo, please tell me what it is," he said, in the most calm voice he could make.

"No, Donnie," Leo said, as he tried to make a quick getaway to his room.

But to his misfortune, Donnie gripped Leo's arm and held it tightly.

"Leo," Donnie said, in a much stricter tone. "You've been crying. I saw your eyes, bro. You know you can't hide it from me forever." And then, without thinking, he added, "We're brothers, Leo. Trust me. Tell me."

That comment made Leo shiver a bit, and Donnie felt this, but said nothing.

"Am I?" Leo asked, as he pushed Donnie's arm off of him, and slammed the door to his room.

"Leo, wait!" Donnie yelled.

What was wrong with Leo?

Nothing, and he means nothing can make his eldest brother cry. And what was that last comment about?

_'Am I?' _

That one really troubled Donnie.

Whatever Leo went through must have been more than he could take. How did it happen?

"Leo, please open up," Donnie said, as he stood outside of his locked brother's room. "Leo!"

Normally Donnie wouldn't be so persistent, but he knew that Leo was in really bad shape.

"Leo, please talk to me," Donnie pleaded. "I'm here for you."

No answer.

Donnie sighed, and was about to make his way back down to the main room, when someone stopped him.

"He won't come out! He's too much of a wimp!" Donnie's hot-headed older brother yelled, loud enough for Leo to hear.

Donnie snapped his head around, and was about to tell Raph that something bad was really bothering Leo, when something clicked.

Donnie realized that whatever made made Leo cry was caused by Raph.

"What did you do!?" Donnie blurted out.

It wasn't really tactical, but Donnie couldn't help it. Whatever Raph did, he made Leo cry and he needed to find out.

"What?" Raph asked, honestly confused. "We just had an argument, and Leo was being his stubborn, know-it-all self!" he yelled.

"Cool off, Raph!" Donnie said.

"Why should I!?" Raph yelled. "It's all Leo's fault!" he yelled, one last time, as he slammed the door to his room.

Donnie thought it would be best to let his brother cool down by himself for a while. Then he would go and talk to him, because he knew that Leo wouldn't budge, especially if he saw him like that.

But this new information made Donnie really concerned.

Raph and Leo had an argument, causing Raph to become enraged, and Leo to become pretty depressed.

What happened?

Donnie swore he wouldn't stop until he found out.

* * *

><p><strong>Who knows? Will Donnie even get anything out of them? Sorry I didn't add Mikey into this one, but I promise I'll add him into the next, okay? I want you all to review, review, review, please! Tell me how I did! I appreciate everything, and I'll update soon! Thanks for reading!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi again! Sorry I posted so late again. Don't blame me, blame school XD. Okay, so I'm going to continue on with the story, and don't worry. Splinter and Mikey will be in this, okay? And thank you to all of the followers and reviewers! Thanks so so so much, I love them all! Read on, everyone!**

* * *

><p>He dropped his hands in utter defeat and returned his focus to the world around him.<p>

Splinter was so frustrated at all of the work he'd done. All of this meditation has made him weary and has taken everything out of him. His body and mind were worn out, and he knew he couldn't meditate for much longer.

Four hours.

Four hours it has been since he started to meditate. Four hours is nothing but a walk in the park for Splinter. Shell, he could go up to twelve. However, this type of meditation required deep focus, deeper then he's ever went before.

Four hours ago, the rat felt something stir uncomfortably in his soul and mind. Something bothered it, like it was taunting him. And after a while, it started to make itself known, for he felt hurt in some way, both physically and emotionally.

So, to figure out this unknown feeling, Splinter decided to meditate.

Four hours went by, and he made no progress.

Was he not meditating deep enough? Was it too hard for him to comprehend? The poor rat did not know, but it was troubling him. He knew that he wouldn't stop thinking about it unless he discovered what it was.

_'One more time,' _Splinter thought. _'One more time, and then I'm done for now.'_

But there were a lot of those 'one more times.' Every time he'd come back to the physical world empty-handed, Splinter would keep telling himself that he would try to meditate once more. But, he kept trying and trying and trying, with no answer as to what the feeling was.

"Why!?" Splinter said aloud, suddenly, not meaning to of course.

It was just so agonizing! He couldn't figure out what the trouble was!

Splinter was just about to give up, when something in his head told him not to. This could be something that will effect him or his sons. He needed to find out.

So, with one more deep breath, Splinter threw himself back into the mental world.

Just then, everything seemed quite different than what he expected it to be.

He first saw visions of red, though they were faint. Then they became bigger and brighter, clouding his image. All he saw was red.

Then the red faded, and in the distance of his vision, he saw blue. Dark blue. He assumed it would grow like the red did, but it just stayed there. It was so faint, that Splinter was surprised he noticed it.

Then it faded into the darkness, and everything went black.

The rat was about to quit meditating and return to the present when it felt like something suddenly struck him. His body felt as though he'd been hit, and it knocked all of the breath out of him.

His vision then turned to his two eldest sons: Leonardo and Raphael.

A red aurora gleamed around Raph, big and bright, while a faint blue one barely shun behind Leo.

Raphael's aurora felt festered, full of hatred and annoyance...while Leonardo's felt distant and sorrowful.

Suddenly, Splinter forced himself back to the physical world. He breathed heavily, trying to process what he saw. What was it that he saw?

Something was obviously wrong between Leo and Raph, though the rat didn't know what. Something happened between them, something that caused these auroras to shine in the way they did.

Usually when he meditates, Splinter fells that an equal balance lies between all of his sons. But now...now they're different. He was concerned for both Leo and Raph, since Raph's never gets that big, and Leo's never gets that small.

An argument, perhaps?

Yes, that was it. That is what must have caused all of this.

Splinter rose from the hard ground of the dojo, and made his way into the main room.

**-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-**

"C'mon, Donnie! You know I hate watching the news!" Mikey yelled in annoyance.

"What!?" Donnie yelled back, surprised, as his younger brother sat down next to him on the couch.

"Sorry bro," Donnie apologized. "I didn't realize the news was on."

Donnie was too busy thinking about Raph and Leo, that he failed to notice what was on the television.

"What?" Mikey asked. "You thinking of a new project to do or something?"

"Ya," Donnie said, quickly, not wanting to worry Mikey of the situation.

Donnie never wants to make their youngest brother worry about anything. It would put too much pressure on him, and besides, they were supposed to be there for Mikey. Not the other way around.

"Figures," Mikey said, as he flipped through the channels. "Ya know, you work too much, bro. Why don't you, I don't know, take a break from all of it and relax for once? Like I do."

"The problem with that, little brother, is that you don't work, but relax all of the time," Donnie replied.

It felt good to lighten up and joke around. Maybe this would be good for Donnie and it would definitely help keep his mind off of the Raph-Leo problem.

"Hey!" Mikey yelled. "I work! Sometimes..."

"Oh, yeah? What do you do?" Donnie questioned, a grin forming along his face.

"I, uh, you know. Uh..." Mikey was at a loss for words.

"Gotcha!" Donnie said.

"No fair!" Mikey responded, as he folded his arms and had a pout on his face.

"You lost on that one-" but Donnie was cut off.

"Donatello. Michelangelo. Have you seen your other brothers?" Splinter suddenly asked, as he made his way in from the dojo.

"No, sorry," Mikey said. "I could go look for them if you like," he said, as he stood up.

"No, Mikey," Donnie said. "They're in their rooms, Sensei. Well, at least they were when I saw them last."

"Thank you, my son," Splinter said, as he turned and went up the stairs.

But there was something in his father's voice that Donnie thought sounded...off. Something was obviously troubling him, and he could tell by the way he said it. Concern, was it? Or maybe even fear? This only made Donnie even more curious to find out what was going on.

"Sensei, wait!" Donnie yelled after him.

"Yes?" Splinter asked, as Donnie reached the landing with his father.

"Um," Donnie began.

Where was he going to start?

"Well, do you know what's going on between Leo and Raph?" Donnie asked.

He had to ask. As much as Donnie feared that he would be bringing his father into something that shouldn't be handled, he asked the question simply because he wanted to know what was going on. He felt as though he needed to know what happened so that he could help in some way.

"Why do you ask?" Splinter asked, trying to hide his concern and suspicion.

"I think Leo and Raph might have had an argument and- oh, Leo's going to kill me if I tell you this, but I think I saw him crying afterward. I tried to ask what it was that was wrong, but he hid it from me, and went to his room. Raph then barged out of his, and started yelling, so when I tried to ask him what happened, he just went back to his room, as well," Donnie finished.

Donnie felt better letting all of it slip. It took the pressure right off of his shoulders, and he thought that his father could make some sense of it all.

"Father," Donnie continued, "do you know what's going on?"

Splinter sighed, taking in this new information, and said, "I was meditating because there was this feeling. Something that you get when something is wrong or off, in a way. I then saw your older brothers, and Raphael was full of hatred, while Leonardo seemed hurt, or rather lonely. But what you saw, explains a lot, Donatello."

"Should we tell Mikey?" Donnie asked.

"I don't think we should bother him right now," Splinter said. "But if this issue grows into something more than an argument, we will need all of us to be there."

Donnie's heart skipped a beat.

"Even April and Casey?" Donnie asked.

"Only if the time comes, my son," his father replied.

"Okay," Donnie said. "So, what now?"

Splinter thought for a moment and then said, "I will go talk to Raphael and try to cool him down. Maybe then, he will tell me what happened. Are you comfortable talking to Leonardo?"

Donnie also thought for a moment, and asked, "But won't it be better for you to talk to him, Sensei? Leo opens up more to you than anybody here! I don't even have a chance."

"Leonardo must learn to trust in his brothers, as well as his father," Splinter replied. "It would be best for you to try and get to him. You never know, it might actually work," he finished, giving his son a quick smile.

"Alright, I'll try," Donnie said, as he made his way to Leo's room, and as Splinter made his way to Raph's.

* * *

><p><strong>I know, I know. It's not a very exciting chapter. But, never fear my readers! I promise the next chapter will be strictly on Raph and Leo. I just wanted to add Mikey and Splinter into the action, and *SPOILER ALERT* Mikey will learn about it soon enough! I will try to post again soon, but trust me, school is wearing me down :( Ugh, I hope the workload gets lighter! I'll try to update soon. Thanks again!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everybody! I hope you all like this so far! I'm trying my hardest to find time to write, especially with school, five days a week. Ugh. But, don't worry! I would never disappoint any of you! Have I yet? I hope not! Okay, so this chapter's on Leo, pretty much. Raph, Donnie, Splinter and Mikey will be in it too. Read on, my fellow readers!**

* * *

><p>"Why!? Why!? Why!?"<p>

This was all that Leo's mouth would allow him to produce.

Wielding a katana in his right hand, Leo slashed at his bedroom wall, leaving deep marks over the cement. Cement walls are tough, tougher than most materials. But, Leo struck with so much force that the wall had to obey his katana, and allow for it to dig deep enough to create a mark.

"Why!?" Leo repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Just as when Leo was going in for another strike on the wall, his hand slipped and the katana fell.

Instinctively, his left hand protruded out to catch his weapon, but the blade fell downward, and slashed deep across his hand.

Leo resisted the urge to cry out, since pain coursed through his hand, but stayed silent. Besides, he would be showing weakness. When Leo gets hurt, he does everything in his power to not show it to anybody. Most of the time, it works, like now.

"Great," Leo blurted out, sarcastically, as he cradled his hand.

Blood was spilling on to the floor, though not a lot. It was a mere cut, in Leo's mind.

But how could he let this happen? He's gotten so messed up with emotions that he can't even hold on to his own weapons.

Just then, Leo's mind flowed right back to why he was angry at the first place: himself.

He was angry at how he has not been a good leader and brother. Everything that he has done was for nothing. If Raph doesn't care for him, then surely the others don't as well, right? Leo shouldn't even care about himself anymore.

Maybe...Leo deserved this.

Leo surveyed his palm, blood spreading out of the open wound, dripping onto the floor.

Maybe he deserved to be cut and punished, to be tortured and abused. Everything he has done has been a failure. Shell, he was a failure. A failure to his brothers, his father, his friends, and everybody he's ever cared about.

Leo's eyes narrowed, as he bent down to the floor to retrieve his katana.

With no hesitation, Leo then created a quick, but small, slice on his left arm. Though the wound was small, blood trickled out of it, for his katana was sharper than most weapons, and cut more deeply into his arm.

It hurt, obviously, but this is what Leo deserved. He needed to be hurt like this. Leo labeled himself as a disgrace and a burden to his family. He deserved no mercy, no peace, nothing. At least, not anything good. He was nothing anymore, and deserved the worst, and the worst he was going to get.

Leo made another cut, deeper this time, into his upper left arm. Leo ignored the pain and the constant spilling of blood, and continued to cut his left arm.

He cut and cut until his entire left arm was gushing out blood. The dark, warm liquid surrounded Leo where he stood, but he paid no mind to it.

While Leo was slitting his arm, he came to another realization.

The pain actually felt...good.

With every cut, Leo's pain became worse, but his attitude became more positive. He deserved this, right? That means he is finally doing the right thing. By inflicting pain on himself, Leo felt better and better, and knew that he deserved- no. He needed this.

Leo chuckled to himself at the thought, and continued to cut.

He was just about to move on to his right arm, when a knock at his door shook him back into reality.

"Leo? It's me, Donnie. Can I come in?" the purple banded turtle asked.

"No-" but Leo faltered in his words.

Leo was so focused and positive on cutting himself, that he failed to notice the major blood loss he had.

He fell to his knees, letting out a small cry as he fell. He clutched his cut arm to his chest, as he supported himself up with his right.

"Leo!?" Donnie's voice echoed outside, as he tried to pry open the locked door.

Leo's vision was becoming more blurry with every second he was conscious. His head became heavier and his body weaker.

"Raph! Mikey! Sensei!" Donnie yelled, his voice sounding more and more distant.

The last thing Leo saw was his father breaking open the door to his room, before his vision went black and he sank into unconsciousness.

**-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-TMNT-**

Lying in his bed was about the only thing Raph actually felt like doing.

Nothing was distracting him, nobody was bothering him, he was alone. By himself, for once. That was actually quite surprising to the red banded turtle. Usually Mikey's trying to bother him, or Donnie's trying to talk to him, or Splinter's trying to teach him a lesson, or...or Leo.

Raph sneered at the thought of his immediate older brother.

"Who needs him!?" Raph yelled into the open air.

What Leo said and did to him was absolutely ridiculous! Leo could really push a guy's buttons sometimes, especially Raph's. He was just so smug, arrogant, everything but a leader.

"He's everything but a leader," Raph blurted out. "He's everything but, but-" he stumbled for words to say. "He's everything but a brother!"

Silence.

Raph pondered on that comment for a moment.

_'You're not my brother,' _he remembered.

A surge of guilt rushed through him. Raph has never said that to any of his brothers before, especially not to Leo. Yes, Leo can really irritate the crap out of him, and he's done and said some things he wasn't proud of.

But, _'you're not my brother,' _made him feel a little...

No.

"There ain't no way I'm feeling sorry for what I did," Raph said a loud. "Leo deserved what he got."

What Leo said actually hurt Raph, in a way. How Leo said he was better than him and that Raph was too weak to take punches. Shell, Leo probably thinks that he's the most loved son and that he gets all of the attention.

It's not fair to Raph.

He loves his father as much as any of his brothers do. Then Leo comes in and tries to take his father away from him.

"Ugh," Raph said.

Then all of a sudden, he hears Donnie's voice scream as loud as he's ever heard it before.

"Raph! Mikey! Sensei!" Donnie's voice rang through the lair.

Instinctively, Raph leapt up off of his bed and ran out his door.

"Donnie!" Raph said, as he turned and saw him, Mikey, and his father at Leo's door.

Before Raph could get another word out, Master Splinter broke down Leo's locked bedroom door. Raph sprinted towards the scene at the end of the hallway, eager and anxious for what he would discover.

His father and his brothers all entered the room, before Raph was even down there.

"Leo, bro!" he heard Mikey scream.

Something in his little brother's voice made Raph even more worried for what happened.

When Raph finally arrived at the door, he was nearly trampled by Donnie, who was carrying...

No.

"Leo!?" Raph blurted out, as he watched his family race down towards Donnie's lab.

All he could do was stand there. His legs were not allowing him to move. Even though Raph only caught a small glimpse of his older brother, he saw red. And Raph knows that means...

Blood.

His legs finally enabled him to travel to Leo's room. Raph looked down, and what he saw almost made him want to cry.

Blood, thick and dark, was in a puddle on the floor, with one of Leo's katanas in the middle of it all. The liquid drenched the blade, and made it a sickly maroon color.

"L-Leo, wha-" but Raph stopped, closed his eyes and walked out of the room.

He headed towards Donnie's lab and sat down outside of the door. He just wanted to see how Leo was doing, and that's all he wanted to know. That's all.

About ten minutes later, his brothers and father came out of the lab, looking nervous, but relieved.

Raph stood up, and asked Donnie, "Is he okay?"

"For now," Donnie answered.

A pregnant silence filled the lair.

Then Mikey said, "He cut himself, Raph. He- he..." but he drifted off and tears found their way down his face.

Splinter immediately headed into the dojo, not wanting to see their despair, and to try and meditate on the situation, and gather his own thoughts together.

Mikey then tried his best to wipe away the drops that fell from his eyes, but they kept coming and coming.

"Why, why would L- Leo do something like that?" Mikey asked through his tears.

Nobody answered.

The two older turtles stood there, pondering in their own thoughts.

Then all of a sudden, Mikey made a connection and screamed, "You!" as he pointed at the red banded turtle. "Y- you did this to him! L- Leo never would have hurt himself i- if it wasn't for you! Why d- did you fight in the first place!?"

"How do you know about that!" Raph yelled, angry and confused that his brother knew about the fight.

"I figured," Donnie started, "that you two must have had an argument. I saw Leo-" but he faltered, not knowing if he should keep going.

"What?" Raph asked, quite curious now.

"I saw him crying after you had the argument, alright!" Donnie yelled. "He was sitting at the edge of the lair when I found him. I tried to talk to him, but he went into his room. Little did I know that, that..." but he stopped mid- sentence.

"Whatever you said," Donnie continued, "really affected Leo. Nothing would drive him to hurt himself this badly! Well, nothing except you!"

"What did I do!?" Raph screamed. "All I said was that he wasn't-" but Raph stopped.

_'You're not my brother,' _he again remembered.

"Exactly," Mikey said.

"What did you say, Raph? Huh?" Donnie asked, curious for what it might be.

"Shell," Raph started. "I didn't, didn't know it would hurt him at all. It was just a fight. Another argument. What, why..." Raph faltered, as he shook his head in disbelief.

"He's your brother, our brother, Raph!" Mikey yelled, completely free of tears now.

Raph flinched at the word, _'brother,'_ and immediately looked down.

Donnie noticed this and realized something, so he said, "That's what you said, didn't you! You said he wasn't your brother!"

Raph's reaction was nothing like Donnie expected it to be.

"Ya!" Raph screamed. "He's not my brother! I said it! He's not my brother!" he yelled, complete with rage. "Do you know why!? Because he's not a brother or a leader and he doesn't deserve to be one! It's as simple as that!"

Then without thinking, Raph yelled, "Who needs him, anyway! Let him cut himself, if that's what he wants! He thinks he's not meant to lead!? Fine by me! He thinks he's not worth it and that he's not our brother!? Great! I don't care anymore! He deserves what he got!"

And with that final note, Raph stormed out of the lair, through the sewers, and up to the surface, leaving two shocked, sad, and sorrowful turtles behind.

* * *

><p><strong>Woah! Raph is an angry one, huh? It's just not going well :( Please review and tell me your thoughts and how I did! I'll try and update soon. And I have to ask you all something, for those who read my comments: For those of you TMNT fans out there who watch the new nick series, who likes Seth Green playing Leo's voice in season three? Give me your thoughts, and I'll give you mine in the beginning comments of the next chapter. I'll update soon! Thanks!<strong>


End file.
